there are times in every woman's life where her body wants either what her heart can't handle or her brain knows better.
men are seemingly born knowing how to detract emotions from sex, but women can have a harder time of it.
you know the drill -- you want a man, but not a relationship. or, more to the point, you want some loving, but don't want the strings attached.
maybe you're really attracted to a dude physically, but find him mentally or morally lacking -- like a tanning technician or a bounty hunter.
there's no way you'd ever date him, but why should you deny yourself entirely?
answer: not a reason in the world.
negotiating a long term, friends with benefits type situation can be tricky for us ladies.
niggas can seperate emotions from physical activity. in fact, with many of them, i think it's their default setting. they can spend the night with a woman and then meander off into the sunset without giving the assignation a second thought. but women can have a harder time doing it. we worry that we're being "used" or feel like we're being promiscuous -- talk about a double standard!
the trick is to accept what you've got with this person and avoid trying to make it something it'll never be. i've certainly been guilty of trying to turn a completely fine FWB into a BF, and the results were predictably disastrous.
So here are some pitfalls to avoid:
• language: yes, it helps if he speaks a foreign language you don't understand, but that's not what i'm talking about. pronouns like us or we are to be avoided like an open sore and all talk of plans further into the future than an hour or two away is verboten.
• meals: Acceptable FWB dining situations include shared bowls of cocktail peanuts, late-night grilled cheese sandwiches, and fancy desserts. meals to be avoided are breakfast, brunch, dinner, with a special get out of jail free card for lunch.
• conversation: questions any more probing than "what are you wearing?" and "when can we meet?" can get a little sticky. your FWB doesn't want to hear about your crazy mom and you really don't want him to start yapping about his bitch or problems at home. keep it light, keep it moving.
• socializing: He doesn't meet your friends, you don't meet his. that goes double for family members. the best thing about having a FWB is that he's your dirty little secret.
see now, at first i was mad at the situation at hand but then it dawned on me, this like a drama free "relation"ship. give that ho at home whatever drama & bs you normally give her, then give me what i need & be on your way. simple as that, quickies in ya moms truck? NO PROBLEM. i'm everywhere she's at including places i dont wanna be. if at anytime we decide to move on no hard feelings. he's more attatched to me than i am to him anyways, i can easily let go once i get what i need or better yet what i want. he sloppy with his shit anyhow, i know his gf's name, he always lets me answer his phone, like tf? bold ass nigga. BUTTTTT if he likes it, i fuckin love it. yadig? the other day i asked if he ever bought his girl a Gucci bag he said nah, never will this is to keep you quiet. GUCCI BAGS TO KEEP ME QUIET? lets ride this shit out bruh. anyways bouta go cash some checks & buy a few fits. HOLLLLLLLA!
xoxo, aerin
