Once upon a time I was attending a jazz session at a local college one night. Seated next to me was a very attractive lady who seemed to be enjoying the performance immensely. She was physically into the session, bouncing and gyrating to the music as if her whole body was involved in it.

I commented to her how good the sounds were. She was not bashful in responding to me, agreeing that they were really good. Then she went on to explain who the musicians were, by name. I had never heard of many of them, and told her so. We exchanged small talk throughout the session, when near closing I asked if she were married. She said she was not, and I asked if I could call her sometimes, at which time she promptly scribbled her home and work phone number on my copy of a program. Turns out she is a Ph.D. Professor in the Drama department at the University. One day I called her and requested she meet me for drinks at a local pub after work. She agreed. That evening we met, had drinks, a sandwich and exchanged information on each other. I asked her if she was dating, at which she said she really didn't have the time to date exclusively but was amenable to going for walks and an occasional drink when time permitted. She actually lived within walking distance from where I lived.

Several Saturday mornings we would go for walks, and have very stimulating conversation. We would have lunch at the Super Salads Restaurant on occasion. She had traveled to Africa several times, and sometimes brought snapshots along that she had taken. She enjoyed explaining about her visits to the motherland while we ate.

By now we had become good friends and was very comfortable in each other's presence. We talked on just about any topic.

One evening, after we had gone walking, she left my house in her car going to the nearby grocery. She always drove to my house and parked her car there while we walked. As I was watching the evening news my doorbell rang. It was her. She came in, sat down smiling. She asked what exactly did I want in a relationship. When I told her she promptly said, " Since I really don't have the time for a relationship per se' how about being my fuck buddy?"

She said she just needed to be held and cuddled by a man from time to time, and was willing to be physical for him in return. It was an offer I could not refuse, and the rest is history. She eventually took leave of absence from the University to teach in Africa for a year. To say I am eagerly waiting for her return would definitely be an understatement!

They say frat boys are hornier than any other kinda college guy. I didn't believe it because he was cool, calm and quite collected. This sexy as hell Hispanic joined a black fraternity and my, my, my, Poppie was yummy from the floor up. He had the sexiest body & smile, pure Latino perfection. The party ended about 2AM and picked back up at the frat house about 2:15. Me and my girls were ready to go. Each young philly was hot to trot and doing her damn thing. We watched Poppie and his brothas all night doing their line step across the floor and each of us picked one out to take home. Every girl for herself, I thought. I said nothing all night as about 5 of the 10 girls verbally picked Poppie to be their fuck buddy that night. He paid no mind to any of us (or so I thought). Why should he? Girls were gawking at him all night anyway. Of course all my girls went in for the kill, each making a failed attempt at hooking him at the after party.

By this time, it was about 3:30 and hell, my drink needed a serious refreshing. It became frustrated because I couldn't find anyone with anything other than beer. After looking aimlessly for about 15 or 20 minutes for something decent to knock the edge off of my fatigue, a soft, deep and sexy voice reached out and grabbed me making my pussy instantly soaked. The voice said, "You look like you could use a drink." I stood there cup in hand and damn near drooling when I managed to fumble the words, "You got something?" He nodded and led me straight to his room through the crowd of people dancing and grinding and throwing up (pissy drunk).

When we got to the room he asked me had I ever drank Bacardi 151 (Puerto Rican Rum) I said no but trying to stay cool, I said "But I am sure I can handle it" He responded, "STRAIGHT?" I said, "YEAH" That had to be to best mistake I had ever made. I got drunk after 2 burning coconut cup full of the stuff. I immediately started pulling on him and sucking on him, telling him I had been eyeing him all night and that I wanted him. He asked if I was sure. I managed a severe, YES!!!!! He tossed me on the bed and I began to really get excited. He held my legs open and started to lick my clit until I moaned. I moaned and whimpered because I could feel his dick rise through his pants with the point of my toe. I knew this dick was gonna be good. I tried to get up and start a new position for fear that if I came for the 5th time there won't be anything left when he gets up there (stupid college notions). He didn't let me up, he held me down and went right on sucking my pussy. He went as deep with his tongue as his finger. He drank the juices straight from my inside and spread them all over until he was ready to join me up top.

He turned me around and ripped off the remainder of my already tattered panties and delivered a dick so heavy in me that I could almost feel it coming though my throat. He plunged in with long deep strokes as my pussy juices dripped down his leg. Poppie wouldn't stop thrusting. I thought he was going for an Olympic goal or something. He lifted my leg, tossed me upside down, Held me up with zero gravity, 69-ed me, fucked me on the floor, the walls, the computer table, and every other surface in the tiny room that would hold up. He butterflied me so deep that me g-spot erupted and I came six straight more times before he could even dream of cumming once. When he did cum, I was almost relieved although, I was in pure heaven. Then to top it off, I topped him off. I had never given head before but he was a great teacher and so he got a lot that night. We fought like a couple of wrestlers in a Sumo match. It was amazing!

By this time, My Girls were so drunk that they didn't even notice that I was gone. They took a cab home and left me to do the Bacardi 151 romp with Poppie all night. When I woke up the next morning my pussy was so sore. Worst of all (and don't laugh but) I had a swollen mouth from my first dick sucking session that looked like I was beat up. I mean that shit was fucked up for almost 2 straight days. Thank God it was the weekend, and I didn't have classes. My girls all wondered how it happened, I told them that I had an allergic reaction to my make up. THAT WAS MY STORY AND WAS STICKING TO IT!! Those bitches couldn't take it if I actually said, I was fucking the man y'all wanted last night, sucked his dick for about 2 hours collectively and that is how my mouth got fucked up. The would have died. So I rubbed it in later. That is... after the 20th or 30th time with Poppie. That was years ago and he still remains one of my best sex-capades.

never tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon .
-mickey

Should I start from the beginning or no? I think I should but its a long story but I guess since I don’t have shit else to do and I’m still a little pissed about it, I guess I’ll start from the beginning…

See Ced decides to take 2 frozen chicken breasts out of the freezer, rinse them off and stick them on the slow cooker yesterday. See, I told him that maybe he should let the chicken unthaw before he stuck the chicken in there being that its a slow cooker. He insists that he don’t want it cooked right away at that moment so I leave it alone. The next day, he realizes that he has overcooked the chicken and leaves it in the slow cooker to cook longer but decides to add barbecue sauce . So the horrid chicken now with Open Pit Original Barbecue Sauce is simmering in the slow cooker causing the whole place smell like overcooked chicken with Barbecue Sauce and its annoying, so annoying I had to cut my video game time short and think about things that smelled good because that sour, loud, bitter smell was clouding my concentration. Anyway…. Popeyes was having a 8 piece chicken box for 5 bucks today, so Ced wanted some so I sent him to go get some. The Popeye’s he went to, was so crowded he decided to go across the street to the Save-A-Lot and buy ground meat and bread causing an overdraft on my card. Now I’m pissed about the smell and now I have a overdraft to pay that I cannot pay right away.

Now I’m hungry with nothing here to eat that I can make right away. So Ced gives me suggestions and it went something like this…

Me- “I’m Hungry”

Ced – “Eat something”.

Me – “Like what?”

Ced – “We got ground meat now.”

Me- “Oh.”

Ced – “You can make meat loaf .”

Me- “I don’t want meat loaf.”

Ced – “You can make burgers.”

Me – “I don’t want burgers.”

Ced – “You can make chili.”

Me – “I don’t want chili.”

Ced – “Well just eat raw ground beef. [I think this is where I was on the verge of being pissed off...]

So after he gives up in making suggestions, he leaves the room and I changed my mind on the chili and decided that chili sounds like a good damn idea. So being that Ced doesn’t have the proper pots my resort was to use the Slow Cooker, but his chicken was still in there simmering for no damn reason. So I ask him can he come and take his fail out of the slow cooker because the little pot he had was too small, and the one pot that would of been right but all of the Teflon was gone and it was rusty and from what I learned in Home EC that’s not safe or good to cook or eat out of.

So he gets annoyed, I get mad cause he think his chicken should marinate in barbecue sauce. He suggests I stick a mixing bowl on the stove and cook the chili out of that. Then on top of that he makes me the one that’s wrong by telling me there is no difference in cooking in that rusty pot than cooking in a thin mixing bowl. I don’t know how he was raised per se but I know I was raised when I wanted to cook I used the right dishware. I don’t used bowls to cook chili out of, so he goes on saying that the only difference between the pot and the bowl is that one has a handle. So now I’m more angry because he’s insulting me, and the fact he hasn’t taken into consideration that that damn chicken has been done for a good 5 hours and he believes that the sauce needs to be cooked too or “simmer” with the chicken.

via asilee.com

btw. ced, is a dumbass

wtf is trickin? that shit is the dumbest shit ive ever heard, why is that now the first thing a nigga with money says?

"it aint trickin if you got it."

so if yeen got it, its trickin? i need this shit to be explained to me because bitches who mess with baller ass niggas always claim he "trickin on em." but if he got money then he apparently got it, right? so he aint trickin then.

that shit confuses me, if you got it spend it, if not keep it movin. why complicate the situation?

camryn s'nai mackel
eight lbs, thirteen ounces ; nineteen inches.
1:49a

excellent health. uber excited. i wanna hold her again, my sweety cakes.

♥♥♥

"we might all be in gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."
-FAFI

"Well, folks it looks like another hot afternoon with variable cloudiness in the North, but there are two raging storms developing in the South near the East and West ends of the region. lf these two storms are to meet and merge there could be some hazardous conditions near the metropolitan area."
Warnings are flashing across the screen of my t.v., and the weather man is blaring something about the merger of two storm fronts. The danger of the coupling of the storms from the two different cities could be hazardous. Oh well he has no idea l have a storm of my own raging inside.

The report of that storm was an hour ago and the weather here is all ready in a frightening state. My fear of thunder and lightening sends me hiding beneath the confines of my cold sheets alone. Well, l will just have to sit and wait this one out and try my best to be patient and keep my fingers to them selves. But who says my mind can't wonder. 

I blink just as l settle myself into the security of my covers the power gives out. Hmmm it's moments like this that take me to the memories that make my hands misbehave. Oh and my mind is like a death trap that can't help but draw me into the erotic pleasure of my thoughts. 

lt has begun to drizzle a little outside and the weather man is screaming in my battery operated radio to take cover and stay inside. With every drop that falls to the earth's surface. l pray that my love is safe, dry and inside. Then l wonder, can he hear my heart beating? Can he feel my lonely for passion body aching to be one with him?

Storms like these remind me of the way we make love. Dangerous, tempting and wild. l characterize our loving by a storm because it all starts out just the same as a torrid storm works. The day is happy and the sun is shinning. But notice how the blackness of a storm signals lovemaking is about to start. First there are warning signs a look a sweet glance. Much like that of a danger of two storms about to be united. Then an innocent giggle of wind from both sides and before you know it the two heated storms are in eachothers mist. Holding on to the life force in each others arms.

The first drop of dampness hits with the mere touch of a hand or wind. Exploring and lighting a delicious path of lust to the tips of our loins. The clouds of a storm are our minds after our mouths has found one another. This leads to a more moisture and more dampness. The rain is beginning, it's becoming more steady now. His approach on my person is becoming more aggressive. Like a flower soaked from mother nature's natural rains. l am completely under his spell, and so overwhelmed by his persistence, l give into his desire to deliver a rapture with in my city.

Closing my eyes as l lay in wait of the storm to end. l imagine him laying my pedal soft skin on the soft ground below me. Finally he begins to remove the leaves of clothing that protect the middle of my flower. lt's raining harder now, and nectar with in my flower are starting to drip. Like a torrid tornado he dips to devour every drop of sweetness that has begun to pour from with in me much like the down pour from a sudden cloud burst. With any storm there is definitely a breeze or high potential wind. l can feel his hot breath scorching the insides of my flower so delicately. He begins to softly toss my body and it's flower around like the thrust of heavy wind blowing around lawn furniture during a storm. My hair is swaying like sea grass as my head rolls side to side with each breath he inhales from my honey sweet flower.

Now comes the panic, and fear and much pleasure with any storm. Raising above my flower l can hear his whistling voice commanding me to open my clouded eyes to watch as he begins to assault my city with more passion. The earth with in our cities is much like the earth itself when a storm is raging to strike. My goodness l moaned, and peering through love clouded vision his form is strong and forceful. His lightening bolt below, is a huge bulge of thunder and dangerous looking, but pleasurable to my now budding flower. As you can guess our bodies are the cities and my flower is my soft sweet cavity between my legs, and the bolt of raging dangerous thunder is his my gratitude for my responsiveness to his commanding storm.

My flower has begun to crave to be showered with more passion, pain and pleasure. The urgency of his storm is about to merge with mine and erupt into a double hurricane. lt's getting pretty wild the rains are coming down by the buckets full. Our cities with separate storms collide and meet for one huge assault. Dangerous but thunderous, his huge bold of lightening have inserted itself into my city, overtaking my flower causing the rains of my damp nectar to flood the alley and street leading into the eye of my dark storm. With our cities united by the storms, we roll, rock and sway to the commands of our needs. Riding me wildly with each searing insertion of his lovable lightening. Moans of pleasure and love escape from beneath clouds in our heads. The flower of my city is in full bloom. The attack of his lightening upon it's innocence have cause more potential flooding from my city. Our storms are in full rage now, the merger of the two has created an awesome effect on our cities. The plump soft firm buildings that stand erect in my city are being delightfully knocked around, kneaded and moistened by the heavy dampness of the mouth of his urgent hurricane.

Suddenly the two coupled storms begin an even delicious tempoed assault on both our bodies. With the constant and deliberate strike of vicious lightening moving in and out of my slippery wet flowered city below. The storms take on a very strange and heated rhythmic pace. Until finally the blowing of the two winds, the racking and clawing of the flowered cities claws on the back of the other vicious storm. With the insistent quaking of both moving cities. ln an instant a calm moves over the two cities. The torrid rains begin to subside and the two storms meet eye to eye. Both storms are still tightly locked, and as if there weren't enough flooding from the flowery rains. Both storms suddenly produce a down pour of hot slippery rain. Bathing the insides of my flowered city and drenching the heated hurricane wrecked city with love juices from with in us both. The commanding city shivered, rocked, and moaned with loud thunder at the feel of the flowery damp city, and the eruption of the rage that had been built with in his own city. 

The two storms vigorous rage began to subside. Still tightly intertwined the two storms move out to sea, only to be united in a deep and watery life forever, until the rise of the next storm.

- shakes my bottle of vicodin

ahhhhh, where do i begin? lets get started at the top of the day.

its around nine in the mornin, as usual im textin my mornin crew. when lauren texts me askin me what am i doin today, i say nothin cause i had no plans & i wanted to get out the house. anyhow round four she comes to pick me up for our " adventure " we head for the mall & she decides she wasn't to go see this nigga named jayden since he claims he's turnin himself in next monday. whatever cool; i don't mind i go along for the ride & now our twosome becomes a threesome. we drive down to glen burnie & go to her bestfriend julissas house. last time i went over there i stayed outside & im guessin she felt some sorta way about it, so i went inside. i step inside the building & it smells like some stale ass pussy on top of that shortys apartment was filthy. i was no good & im glad lauren asked me to go back out & get her pads out the car. so we proceed to ride around this nigga jayden was cool all day now all of a sudden he's actin dumb, talkin bout he wants to sit up front? THE FUCK? bitch been in the fuckin back all damn day, he straight where the fuck he was at.

anyways ffwd ; this nigga is talkin bout he's gone punch me in my face if i sit up front. so i sit my happy ass up front. all day his bitch ass was in the back no complaints now he wanna be up front? BULLSHIT, now this nigga opens my door & drags me out punching me & shit we in the parkin lot dukin' it out and im even more ready to go home. so dumb ass lauren lets jayden drive her car & this bitch leans his seat all the way back on me, straight disrespectful shit. so i get home say bye & go inside. this bitch comes back for gas money. im like whatever i offered to give her the shit anyways no problem. but she figured she was gettin ten dollars & the whole day i was askin to go home. she had it fucked up. she got five dollars & the peace sign.

#whathappenedto real friends?
i need me some of those.

btw, this happened yesterday. not today.

xoxo, aerin

click picture to download

01. Intro (Days Like This) 4:12
02. One Day At A Time 2:44
03. Thugstyle 3:28
04. Tell Mama Don’t Cry 4:17
05. Neva Be Peace 4:37
06. Am I Next 3:41
07. Bow Down 4:30
08. Fuck All Y’all 3:52
09. Picture My Pain 4:28
10. Komradz 3:18
11. Raised As A Thug Nigga 4:24
12. Dear Lord 4:14
13. Untouchable 3:19
14. Happy Home 3:23
15. Thugs Wrath 4:04
16. Enemies With Me 4:18
17. Raise Up 3:21
18. Shed So Many Tears (Tribute) 4:21

mickey: lets get wasted
mickey: im comin to florida.
andre: Well fl is huge
mickey: well im comin to yo house.
andre: Ok
mickey: what we gone do?
andre: Vibe n chill
mickey: oh yeah.
andre: Si
mickey: sounds good.
andre: Word
andre: Then I'll rape u in the butt
mickey: lmao, that's gone hurt.
andre: Maybe
mickey: nah, it is. my asshole looks like this * not o or O or ( )
mickey: you still at work booger?
andre: No I'm tryin to sleep
mickey: oh, leme give you a gnite kiss.
mickey: :-*
andre: :x. That's how u get herpes
mickey: we can share. ;;)

ily BOOGER
<3

a lot of people ask me why i act the way i act. simple.
niggas deal w. the bullshit i give em. so why on earth would i act any different? of course the slack ass behavior does carry on & interfere with some relationships but most of those are people i don't know & never plan to meet.

i mean that's like a spoiled child, once they're stuck in their ways that's it, its hard to change em. for damn near twenty years i've been able to do what the fuck i want when the fuck i want how the fuck i wanna do it, it'd be a damn shame if i dissapoint folk by getting humble now. i've considered it on occasion. i actually do want people to take me more serious in some aspects but its kinda too late yenno. anyhow. that's my explaination.

like it love it move on.

<3

i went to the eye doctors today, my vision sucks moster cock.
20 / 100? the hell i used to be 20 / 20
perfect shit.

anyways i need glasses all damn day.
in 5 years my eye site should be back to 20 / 20 , that's if i wear them all day everyday.

the glasses i picked were hot. some red CHANEL frames.

other than the dr's i haven't done anything special. oh, i unlocked all the characters on soul caliber ii.

tomoro is gone be exciting, because i'm sick of looking at these boring ass blogs. but my goal for this month is to just blog everyday regardless.

anyways g'nite idk why im up i got work in a few hrs.

<33

a lot of people have been asking me why my name isn't on the "team juice" list anymore. tbh idk, & quite frankly i do not care. just thought it was tacky how my name vanished without warning. im not going to be classless & start bashing, its pointless mainly because i don't care.

so winter '10 i'll be opening my own website. of course it'll be something involving the word "ILL" , but it has to be classy at the same time so while im brainstorming i'll basically be building up clientele & adding more sources to my list.

oh & btw if you say "don't mention my name w. lames
make sure you aren't refering to me.
never been lame, never will be.

ty. g'nite.

isn't he just the hottest.
today generally was boring as all get out.
i started school today thoe & classes were ehh. nothing to write home about.

maybe tomoro?

xoxo, aerin.

let me say upfront that bey is my choice poison. if i had to choose one musical artist with a crappy message whoiI could listen to for the rest of my life, it’d be her (beating out weezy f baby only because of her music videos). bey is my favorite overachiever. you can find me any day naomi campbell walk-ing back and forth in my bedroom to “freakum dress” or trying to shake my derriere to “single ladies”.

THAT BEING SAID.

beyonce is like the feds when it comes to promoting a conservative social agenda. she alone is policing social behavior like bill o’reilly is paying her do it. the whole time i’m getting down to her jams i’m just like “dang b! thats jacked up!” the messages in her songs almost always encourage patriarchy, female subservience, and heteronormativity like a muhfucka! –pretty much conformity overall (including gender conformity) to the socially conservative status quo. in her songs, beyonce celebrates the oppressive power dynamic that exists between men and women, while simultaneously trying to imply that women can utilize the subordinate position in a heterosexual romantic relationship to empower themselves. if he doesn’t marry you, step! that’ll show him who’s boss. she perpetuates this entanglement of systems of inequalities, such as marriage, with other concepts that have been socially constructed such as love and gender.

& i understand she’s talking to her audience and that many girls and boys can relate to what she’s saying, circumstantially. but i just wish there could be some critical analysis of her implications, and maybe the tweaking of a few words here and there. the fact that she legitimizes only certain expressions of ‘love’ (commitment), masculinity and femininity, and what that means for young girls and boys who are trying to shape their identities, as well as for grown folk who are expressing themselves in alternative ways. also how those particular expressions that she endorses are part of the larger structure that keeps people in their places, acting as productive bodies for the economy. i want whoever is on her team to at least consider these ideas, and how they could alter her message to communicate a more progressive politics on gender, sex, sexuality, and certain institutions.

now for kicks, I want to highlight some lyrics that have stood out to me as being particularly annoying and as leaning right of center. please, add some if you have any or argue with me about how beyonce made “INDEPENDENT WOMAN” or whatever.

lyric: if you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it. translation: if you liked it – “IT” most likely refers to a woman here, and perhaps one’s relationship with her, or her sexual abilities. if you liked the woman you were with, you should have married her because not only is that the only way to keep a woman but it is the only legitimate form of recognizing love.

lyric: pull me into your arms. say i’m the one you own. if you don’t you’ll be alone. & like a ghost, i’ll be gone. translation: this is why you put a ring on it. marriage has historically been about who has property rights over women. so tell me you own me, it makes my heart warm.

lyric: you need a real woman in your life. taking care of home and still fly. & ima help you build up your account. when you’re in those big meetings for the mills, you take me just to compliment the deal.
translation: i’m a trophy wife. when you make business deals, you tote me along like a new car. i’m your favorite prop. oh, & i can clean the kitchen, wash clothes, cook your dinner, AND put your durag on, all in monolo blahnik heels.

lyric: i can do for you what martin did for the people. ran by the man but the women keep the tempo. it’s very seldom that you’re blessed to find your equal. still play my part and let you take the lead role, believe me. i’ll follow, this could be easy. i’ll be the help whenever you need me.
translation: i’ll validate your masculinity by letting you take the ‘lead role’, because the only way i know how to support you is by ensuring that you feel you have control over me. i’m comfortable fading into the background and being your hot assistant sidekick.  you’re the block, but i’m the lights. you’re the diamond, and i’m the little glimpse of light that makes you shine.

i can’t even start on “if i were a boy”… that’s like a whole nother blog in itself.

these are just a few examples trying to illustrate why beyonce is one of the biggest, albeit flyest, proponents of a retrograde conservative ideology that is restrictive to everyone’s expression, normative and non-conforming alike. It either traps you within (with limited options of expression and often oblivious privilege) or marks you outside (in what is sometimes a more intimately liberated but nonetheless socially and politically marginalized space).

was a good day.

narada: If you touch that tatted up dude Ill kill you
mickey: i already did.
narada: Im goin to NEW YAWK to get that
narada: WOT!?!?!
narada: you talkin bout Revolvers
narada: BITCH ILL KILL YOU
narada: hahaha
mickey: yes.
mickey: i tagged him.
narada: nigga...
narada: IMG
narada: OMG!!!
narada: Im gonna scalp you
narada: hahah
mickey: lmaooo.
mickey: told ya.
narada: ain he the sexiest thing you eva seen tho
narada: when I saw him I was like daaaaaaaang
narada: sexy, lite
mickey: no.
narada: got his ears gauges
mickey: the tatts nice thoe.
narada: gauged^
narada: WOT!>!
narada: nigga you bugged out
narada: he is beautiful
narada: tatts errwhere
narada: Id swallow ALL his kids
mickey: i havent seen his face so ima say no.
narada: LMBO
narada: uuuugh
mickey: OHLAWD.
narada: well see his fave
narada: face^
mickey: im leavin this convo on his board.
narada: WOT!?!?
narada: lol
mickey: :)
narada: awwww man
mickey: link me to his gallery.
narada: Im not goin on that nigga page
narada: for he think Im stalkin him
narada: lol
illaa.ghee: im leaving this convo.
narada: I dont like lightskin dudes girl
narada: lol
narada: I thought you knew that about me
narada: [-(
narada: Dude..
narada: OMG
narada: oh snap
narada: how I did that
narada: haha
mickey: i did.
mickey: i love the yellas thoe.
narada: ew
narada: NO!
mickey: lmao. tf?
mickey: why ew?
narada: yella boys nassy


why cant more niggas look like that?
please dont go looking for this nigga either, some of yall are thirsty like that.

^_^

http://twitpic.com/h5rc6
http://twitpic.com/h5i5a

why do females do shit like that.
BUT ROFL @ This is when you deside to go home and cook

you fuckin right bruh & you never ever return to the scene of the crime.

#ftl

transformer announced as first single

it looks like mr. brown is going to be transforming with weezy f. baby in the coming weeks.

chris Brown may be back on the music scene sooner than expected.

the twenty year old pop star revealed on twitter that he recently finished recording his third album graffiti.

“GRAFFITI!!!! COMIN SOON…. JUST FINISHED IT…HANDS DOWN … MY BEST ALBUM… THATS ALL IMA GIVE AWAY RIGHT NOW,” he wrote.

chris also announced in a tinychat session with fans that “TRANSFORMER” featuring lil wayne will be the project’s first single. the two previously collaborated on “gimme that” off his self-titled debut album.

on sunday, he told his followers, “I HONESTLY DONT THINK THE GAME IS READY FOR THE RECORDZ I GOT COMING OFF THE NEW ALBUM…. (not tryna be cocky)!!!!lol.”

jive Records has yet to confirm an official release date for graffiti.


am i the only one that noticed its spelled GRAFFATI & not GRAFFITI?

so lastnight i chilled with AV, its was hella late when we got back to my spot & this nigga was past intoxicated. so i said " you can stay at my place til you sober up. " now how his gf found out the location of my spot is beyond me. but i aint trippin i already knew she was bouta get that ass whooped showing up unannounced. so she's balling & screaming yelling thru the door " ILY BABY, please dont leave me. " on some psycho stalker shit. " PLEASEEEEEE PLEASE. " i basically had enough of this bitch yelling thru my household so i walk up front & she hollers " i'm pregnant. " i kindly walk right on back to my room & let them yell it out. so anyways the yelling stops & the door slams. they're gone right?

WRONG

they come back arguing again. all im hearing is " get your fucking ass in the bathroom & take the pregnancy test. " oops. while she's in the bathroom i gotta pee. so im outside the bathroom doin my dance to keep from pissing myself. he yanks her off the toilet & tells me to go pee. i stood there & waited til i felt like going until i moved. then this nigga has the audacity to ask for a kiss. im like nah buddy but he grabbed my face and kissed me anyways. ion deal w. shit like that so i got dressed & went to destiny's house. the only place i can go & just be there. no stress no questions no gestures. i stay there for a while until i get this excrusiating pain in my side. un fucking bareable, soon as i get checked in i go for a sonogram to make sure everything on the inside is okay. everything's straight. so cool, i nap & get discharged then go back to my place. if they were still there i woulda tore into someones ass. i promise i would've. anyways now im okay, so ima relax. nap & eat my snacks.

xoxo, koko

what is it about involved men that is so irresistible?

it has to be something because so many women fall for it. just this week i encountered two women who have slipped into the trap of fatal attraction for an involvedd man. i'm not writing about this subject to lecture or be judgmental or even to speak from my soapbox about what i know that you don't. my intention is to expose the underhanded tactics, even if unintentional, of men and the naiveté of women that permits these relationships to blossom.

what is it about women that make them susceptible to the charm and attraction of an unavailable man?

the unavailable man is very attractive to women who do not want to be controlled by a man. he can provide sporadic attention, sex, usually at regular intervals, definitely advice even when you don't ask for it and gifts. you don't have to live with him, which means no snoring, picking up after him, and usually freedom to come and go as you please. the disadvantages however are things like limited spontaneity, lack of availability on weekends and holidays and never being his number one priority.

women in general are used to getting seconds.

what I mean by that is that women choose to settle for less than what they want. okay, i expect outrage from most of you who are reading this but hear me out, thanks. in this country, men have the power. look around you, how many women president's do we have? how many in the senate, congress, CEO's of fortune 500 companies? how many women make as much money as men do? consider teaching and nursing, two professions primarily occupied by women, what percentage of men are in the profession and what percentage ofthose are in charge? how many men choose to stay home with the children while their wives work and support the family? you get the idea. granted there are many more women in positions of authority, in medicine, the law, entrepreneurs, real estate, finance, business than ever before, but if you are going to be honest with yourself, it's still a man's world. this is okay.

we can live with the fact that men run the world, because women run relationships.

women, you really are in charge of relationship even if you don't know it. You just need to raise the bar a little on what you expect from a relationship. what i meant by women being used to settling is they don't ask. let me give you an example. a friend of mine works for a big company; she uses her own computer and pays for her own internet access even though the majority of her computer usage is for her work activities. she has asked the men who run the company to be reimbursed for the cost of her computer & internet access and has been denied. her first inclination was to accept this, until she realized: how many men who use a computer in their job, use their own computer let alone pay for their internet access? men expect to be provided with the tools that they need to do their job, women provide their own tools and accept it when they are denied reimbursement. where does this willingness to be used originate? i think that it originated when women first began to invade the workplace. women weren't greeted with open arms when they first arrived in the workplace. in order to be accepted, they worked twice as hard, longer hours, tolerated abuse in many ways that a man never would and were eager to please, seeking approval and acceptance by over responding. (actually, women were welcomed in the workplace during world war ii but only because men weren't available. when the men returned, the women were expected to go back home where they belonged.)

much of women's acceptance of second-class treatment is their own fault, because they don't even ask for it to be different.

okay, i'm a little off the subject of married men, but let me follow this through to the correlation. let's look at a wife. the majority of wives & girlfriends work these days, they also are the primary childcare provider, and most of them do most of the housework and laundry and cooking and shopping as well. they are also expected by their husbands to be sexy and ready for a quickie at the drop of his pants. women do all this because they put these standards on themselves. they still expect that they have to do more and do it better because they are women. so where does a woman cut back? usually it is in paying attention to her husband's primary needs. a man needs sex and most involved men will tell you that the amount of sex that they get dwindles after a while and especially after children. in addition, the amount of time that a woman has to devote to the nurturing, acceptance, approval and attention to her husband decreases proportionately with the addition of children, job responsibilities and a bigger house.

so this leads us to the plight of the unavailable man.

who is the unavailable man? first of all he is a man. men are results oriented. men have a lot of testosterone. they aren't good at deciphering what women want, especially with their own wives or girlfriends. the unavailable man used to run his own life. he came and went as he pleased; he watched or played sports whenever he wanted. he lived his own lifestyle. he could have his girl with him whenever he wanted and she would pay all of her attention to him. now he is married / involved with a couple of kids (or maybe not), a mortgage or rent, a job he has because it pays the most, not because he loves it so much and a girlfriend / wife who used to cater to him exclusively who now has to divide her time between him, the house, possibly the kids, whatever she does on the side & usually her job.

there was a commercial on TV a second ago that shows a man thinking about his studly single days and how sexy he was in those days, with a child in a stroller. he is playing with his child and shopping in the grocery store and a woman is talking to her friend who comments he doesn't even know how much more attractive he is now than he was when he was a stud.

men are pretty unconscious about what makes them attractive.

according to most women it is not their looks that make them attractive, it is who they are and how they produce in the world. so this unavailable man goes to work and comes home and goes back to work the next day. at work there is this woman. she is single, attractive, smart, capable, speaks his language and someone who has time to pay attention to him, generally a bad bitch. it starts as an innocent flirtation. what goes through his mind is something like "let's see if i still have it!" so he starts flirting just to see what happens. not a surprise, she responds to the flirting by flirting back.

this is the beginning of the affair.

in his mind he is flattered, it is fun, and exciting and just a little bit naughty. what could be more harmless? i'm off the market. i'm safe, i can just have a little fun with this. so it continues. he thinks he can just experiment a little. let's see how charming and creative i can be. let's see if I can get this chick to fall for me. in his mind it is not cheating. he hasn't done anything wrong. In the beginning, he even tells his girl about this chick. he tells her about how smart she is or about some accomplishment, usually what made him notice her in the first place. girlfriends usually miss the first clues. the thought of the effect of his harmless flirtation on the single woman does not even enter his consciousness. so the harmless flirtation continues. it makes him feel good. he is happier at home and everything seems hunky dory. he tells the chick his lover doesn't understand him, she doesn't have time for him, or she just is cruel to him, ungrateful and the other woman becomes his confidant and starts to believe that he really has no choice in the matter. he needs her because his girl is so … whatever.

he now has both a woman at home and a woman on the side.

recognize that this process may take several years and several different women before anything actually happens in the way of an affair. after several years of living a separate life from his woman at home while they live under the same roof, an unavailable man is ready for a real affair. the reality is that an affair will occur whether it is an emotional or physical affair or even a cyber affair. no matter which way it goes, what occurs takes away from the relationship.

what is true about the woman who gets involved with an involved man is that she is looking for attention and affection.

most likely she is not looking for an involved man with whom she is plotting to have an affair. there are a few predatory women out there who do just that but the majority of affairs start out naively. she is likely to have been previously hurt in a relationship. she may or may not know that the man is off the market. what occurs first is she recognizes that he is paying attention to her. he may just listen to her. it may just be a momentary encounter where their eyes meet and a connection is made. they may be working together and either of them may distinguish themselves in some way. what initially happens is likely to be chemistry. what happens after that varies, however, it usually follows this pattern.

when the woman discovers that he is unavailable, she will make it clear that she doesn't have relationships with involved men.

that is the signal for the man to go into conquest mode.

he will pursue her possibly for years because he enjoys the chase. she will continue to refuse his advances as long as she cantolerate it or until he catches her at a weak and vulnerable moment. if she has a good relationship in her life, chances are she can outlast him, but if she is single, available or married and unhappy, she will eventually succumb. why? because the man is so charming, he's wonderful, he's a knight in shining armor, he's a hero, he's this dedicated man who is so accomplished, attentive & commited. so the woman asks herself what is she doing?

she continues to say no and the more she says no, the more aggressive and charming and attentive he gets. this is the ultimate male challenge, to win over a woman who is saying no even though he knows she really is attracted to him.

an unavailable man will work harder than any available man to make a woman fall in love with him.

he will be more charming, loving, attentive and wonderful than a woman can imagine that any man can be. so what happens next is this woman who finally surrenders to her feelings for this man, asks him to leave his whatever for her. the response from him will almost inevitably be one of two, but i'm involved & i can't leave or yes, i'll leave my, but not yet (she's not ready, my children are too young, i can't afford it yet, my mother won't approve etc.) initially the woman will respond with anger. "if you love your wife what are you doing with me?" here's the clincher that finally hooks the woman, he is committed to his wife and the woman buys into his honorable dedication to his wife and thinks if only i could have a man who loves me like that.

it is at this point in their relationship that the woman's final act of settling may occur.

either she will end it and go off to nurse her broken heart, wondering how he could have been so wonderful and such a dick at the same time, or she will continue the affair and settle for being the other woman in his life. either way the woman is damaged. the man will go back to his love who was either completely unaware of the romantic drama or who also chooses to settle by living in denial of his infidelity. then life goes on.

the other woman plays a significant part in the perpetuation of this man's relationship.

she makes it tolerable for him to remain in an intolerable situation. she makes it possible for him to remain in a relationship that doesn't satisfy him. that situation can range from boredom to outright contempt, but a man won't leave until his whatever has dismissed him, either consciously or unconsciously. she makes it possible for him to deny that there is anything missing in his relationship with his woman at home. therefore, the wife wins, if you can call it winning to stay in a relationship with a cheating man.

the purpose in discussing this at all is to emphasize the fact that women settle and men will cheat because they can. so, women, if you want your man to be faithful, you must pay attention and never settle for less than what you want no matter what the cost.

the essence of the unavailable is commitment. why start a relationship if you are not willing to commit to loving someone exclusively? so why do it if you don't mean it?

on a more serious note, however, i really don't see any point in getting married unless you are marrying someone with whom you have sexual chemistry that you love totally, that you trust implicitly, & that you would rather be over anyone else who also feels the same about you. that feeling of total trust is very rare & it needs to be nurtured. it's also good if you have similar values & goals in life. if and when you find someone that meets all of the above standards, you probably couldn't imagine wanting to be with anyone else anyways. that spiritual bond can be so strong & so valid that it would be out of the realm of possibility to violate it.

it is impossible to have that kind of trust if you enter a relationship that originated with someone cheating.

so what happens to destroy that original bond? it is the woman's job to provide the appetite for pleasure and the direction for the relationship. this doesn't relieve men of any responsibility for it is their job to surrender to their woman's power & to produce results for her based on what she requests. So, in a relationship that is working the woman must continue to raise the bar for her man and believe in him. what does that mean? she wants a bigger house, more expensive car, more children? not necessarily although those things may be part of the picture. what it does mean is that she raises the standards of paying attention even when life is busy. it means that they make time for sex even when they don't have time. it means that each one of them stay vulnerable with each other even when he/she has done something that embarrasses them or is wrong.

it's a fragile bond that must be protected and as far as i can see what will protect the bond of love is a woman expressing her appetite that requests more than the man thinks he can produce and then even more vital is that she approves of him and believes in him until he produces it. the most significant element of maintaining a love relationship that works is that both parties must pay attention to each other and to what is happening in the relationship. going to doubt or settling for less than what she wants is the beginning of the destruction of the delicate balance of the man/woman relationship. in this model of relationship, men and women are regarded as different entities with different needs. it relies on using the sex act as the metaphor for relationship, symbolizing men as producers and women as receivers.

there are no victims.

to find yourself, you might have to toss aside any preconceived notions you have about who you are in the first place. how can you really explore and discover what you're all about if you begin the journey with strict boundaries already in place?

xoxo, mickey

there are times in every woman's life where her body wants either what her heart can't handle or her brain knows better.

men are seemingly born knowing how to detract emotions from sex, but women can have a harder time of it.

you know the drill -- you want a man, but not a relationship. or, more to the point, you want some loving, but don't want the strings attached.

maybe you're really attracted to a dude physically, but find him mentally or morally lacking -- like a tanning technician or a bounty hunter.

there's no way you'd ever date him, but why should you deny yourself entirely?

answer: not a reason in the world.

negotiating a long term, friends with benefits type situation can be tricky for us ladies.

niggas can seperate emotions from physical activity. in fact, with many of them, i think it's their default setting. they can spend the night with a woman and then meander off into the sunset without giving the assignation a second thought. but women can have a harder time doing it. we worry that we're being "used" or feel like we're being promiscuous -- talk about a double standard!

the trick is to accept what you've got with this person and avoid trying to make it something it'll never be. i've certainly been guilty of trying to turn a completely fine FWB into a BF, and the results were predictably disastrous.

So here are some pitfalls to avoid:

• language: yes, it helps if he speaks a foreign language you don't understand, but that's not what i'm talking about. pronouns like us or we are to be avoided like an open sore and all talk of plans further into the future than an hour or two away is verboten.

• meals: Acceptable FWB dining situations include shared bowls of cocktail peanuts, late-night grilled cheese sandwiches, and fancy desserts. meals to be avoided are breakfast, brunch, dinner, with a special get out of jail free card for lunch.

• conversation: questions any more probing than "what are you wearing?" and "when can we meet?" can get a little sticky. your FWB doesn't want to hear about your crazy mom and you really don't want him to start yapping about his bitch or problems at home. keep it light, keep it moving.

• socializing: He doesn't meet your friends, you don't meet his. that goes double for family members. the best thing about having a FWB is that he's your dirty little secret.


see now, at first i was mad at the situation at hand but then it dawned on me, this like a drama free "relation"ship. give that ho at home whatever drama & bs you normally give her, then give me what i need & be on your way. simple as that, quickies in ya moms truck? NO PROBLEM. i'm everywhere she's at including places i dont wanna be. if at anytime we decide to move on no hard feelings. he's more attatched to me than i am to him anyways, i can easily let go once i get what i need or better yet what i want. he sloppy with his shit anyhow, i know his gf's name, he always lets me answer his phone, like tf? bold ass nigga. BUTTTTT if he likes it, i fuckin love it. yadig? the other day i asked if he ever bought his girl a Gucci bag he said nah, never will this is to keep you quiet. GUCCI BAGS TO KEEP ME QUIET? lets ride this shit out bruh. anyways bouta go cash some checks & buy a few fits. HOLLLLLLLA!

xoxo, aerin

gamertag : askforit

trey really hasn’t been on my radar, i know a handful of his songs but for the majority he doesn’t strike me as a singular singer, rather the type of artist that is built around a handful of songwriters and producers. after all these years i still don’t know what type of artist he is, purely because he doesn’t come across as serious artist, just the type that seemingly likes to coast it out.

the material on “ready” is rather so-so – comprised of mainly up-tempo numbers that clearly reeked of Johnta Austin effortless touch – there may be two or three tracks that share the immediacy of what trey is really capable of but for the majority, they border on the tolerable. the album could have really done with 4-5 tracks being cut, there were too many mediocre tracks, were the drake tracks really necessary? the problem for me is that i don’t think trey understands subtlety and when to stop and when to rein in it and leave audiences wanting more. for someone who professes to be a student of the genre, he really needs to do some more homework. his delivery on several of the songs including black roses and be where you are really diminished by his childish and incessant yeahs and moans which really kill the whole vibe for most of the songs. it begs to wonder why ready to make luv didn’t lead the album, its single handlely frames the whole album’s intent. one love is the album’s best track, a showcase of what can be achieved when trey takes his material seriously, solid arrangement and his best vocal delivery thus far. love lost is the type of track that requires a sensitive touch – mario? the final track yo side of the bed could have been a showcase of a different more refined trey songz but sometimes the song outshines the artist and reveals his true limitations.

no i'm not hating, just a true review. he's still a cutie.

Track List:
01. What We Talkin’ About (Featuring Luke Steele of Empire of the Sun)
02. Thank You
03. D.O.A. (Death Of Auto-tune)
04. Run This Town (Featuring Rihanna And Kanye West)
05. Empire State Of Mind (Featuring Alicia Keys)
06. Real As It Gets (Featuring Young Jeezy)
07. On To The Next One (Featuring Swizz Beatz)
08. Off That (Featuring Drake)
09. A Star Is Born (Featuring J.Cole)
10. Venus Vs. Mars
11. Already Home (Featuring Kid Cudi)
12. Hate (Featuring Kanye West)
13. Reminder
14. So Ambitious (Featuring Pharrell)
15. Young Forever (Featuring Mr Hudson)

Release Name: Jay-Z-The_Blueprint_3-2009-H3X
Genre: Rap
Label: Roc Nation
Quality: 195 kbps avg Size: 86.11MB
Rip Date: 2009-09-01
Store Date: 2009-09-11
BLUE PRINT 3

aerin | whippin a nissan | fedex / kids footlocker employee | cakin' | journalist x talent promoter | stacked & thick
basically, i do me the best way i know how. MY BLOG, MY THOUGHTS, MY FEELINGS, if YOU have a problem w. anything you've seen or read here thats not MY concern. click the x or backtrack. i'll be moving to my own personal HTTP:// soon. -mick boogie *
sidenote : mickey, koko, illa = me.

asilee
dauche
blaine
alexis
whitney
angelina
lorena
ashley
davon

.affies