why am i so fucking angry? i mean like hatered is spewing from my eyes & it burned when i cried thinking about this fucking asshole of a nigga i gave my heart to. i remember i used to go nuts wondering if he was okay & safe. but now i wish he felt the pain that i felt times infnity.
FUCK YOU BITCH, FUCK YOU
the worst part is i dont even think he knows i hate him. how do go from loving someone to wishing their whole family would fall off the ends of the earth? shit is crazy, i sat here going thru my photo album & as another picture popped up i got more & more disgusted.
i had this convo saved since july 08.
thats when we were cute together.
me: vagina
rodney: mmmmhmmm
me: leme play wit you
rodney: im bout to get off tho :(
me: me too
me: just open up
me: (:
rodney: -opens up-
rodney: lets get busy
me: plays wit you
me: ooh yeah .
me: been keeping that shit moist
rodney: wouldnt have it any other way
rodney: especially for you!
me: :x
me: the best pussy i eva had
rodney: you betta believe it!
rodney: :">
me: im lovin this !
rodney: lol how you think i feel
rodney: :D
me: leme know when im hitting ya spot .
rodney: its not easy to find it
rodney: but when you do
rodney: you'll be notified
me: -keeps playing wit it
rodney: gettin warmer
me: -goes deeper
rodney: -gets wetter-
rodney: almost
me: -faster
rodney: ahhhhh
me: you like that huh
rodney: -slights moans-
rodney: yeeeeeeah
me: thats right .
me: i know what you like
rodney: you know me the best
me: of course
rodney: i gotta go tho
rodney: :(
me: bye boo .
rodney: bye
aww
-blushes
kinda wanna thank him thoe, cause if it wasnt for him being the thoughtless neglectful promise breaking boyfriend he was i wouldnt have found my current bewsauz.
i dont really really like anthony the way i really really really liked rodney, but im more matured & i know what not to do. ie, not sweat a nigga nor trip on him for any given reason.
the convo is excellent i dont have to ask a boatload of questions to keep the convo going & my disbeliefs arent viewed as me being narrow minded.
i remember thanksgiving we spoke about evolution & i said pokemon evolve, it was on tv & i thought it was funny. all fuckin hell broke loose, & yeah the fuck i did compare both of the topics together. it made sense to everyone i laughed about it with later on.
& that song he was always writing but never finished, one down forever to go. fuck a forever cause its over. exactly nine months & i only grew from his absence.
so many memories i cant really include him in, like how i went to CLE in december where was he? in atlanta, i coulda stayed my ass home if he was gone end up in the same state as me.
i had fun when i went on his birthday. chrissy, mellie & i went to see india.aire at the house of blues. & we ate at the iHop on mayfield road every meal. Tiffany was our server 3 out of the 6 times [SHOUTOUTS TO TIFFANY! - she gave us mad discounts]
the disappointments outweigh the happiness, & im slightly relieved from blogging this.
rodney, if you're reading this i dont want you to feel away, just how i currently feel. you'll always be my
first love. i just dont like you.
toodles,
illaa
